I'm just not sure what to do with myself.

I've been in school just about my entire life. For the past 26 years now, I've always had something to do--whether it be writing a paper, learning a language, studying for a test, I've always had SOMETHING to do. And I'm just now realizing how much my being a student has kept me sane. The more I sit and wait for pharmacy school, the more anxious and ready I am to start. And I don't think it has much to do with the career apsect, either; I think I just want something productive to do with my time. Fact is, I'm not very good at just do nothing. It kills me, actually. I've never understood those people who could sit at home all day and just watch TV or talk on the phone. I'd much rather be doing something, anything for that matter. I feel like I'm going crazy.

Now a lot of this could have to do with the fact that I'm staying at friend's house, which wouldn't be a problem if he didn't live in Tennessee (I'm from Alabama). (And I guess now you're wondering why I'm here. Well, Wende lives here and, fact is, it's a lot more economical for me to stay here than for her to stay in Alabama.) But I think being here somehow makes me feel inhibited or limited or stuck. I don't know anybody up here, except Wende and her family, and I don't have my books, laptop or any of my stuff with me. Some days, if I'm honest, just feel like a waste of time. Now don't get me wrong, I love spending time with Wende; and if I could get away with spending every minute with her, I'd be more than content. But let's be real here, that ain't going to happen and even if it could we'd eventually drive each other nuts.

What's more, it seems like these two months are moving by quickly but slowly at the same time. It's like part of me is shocked that June is already here but, at the same time, thinking why isn't it July yet. Like I said earlier, I've never been good at just doing nothing. I need something to read, write about, learn, discover...something!! I think my being a health freak is probably a result of this as well. (And you know what, the more I think about it, the more I'm starting to realize the term "health freak" isn't necessarily the right way to describe me. I think "exercise freak" or "action-junky" may be the more appropriate term. But I'll talk more about that later.) Unlike Wende, I love to do anything physical and being outdoors. Matter of fact, I'll even go as far as saying  I NEED to do something physical. I feel so anxious and full of pent-up energy when I'm just sitting. Do you think this is some form of ADHD? I don't think it is. After all, I've been a GREAT student my entire life. I can study for hours if need be. But, at the same time, unless I'm studying I have a tough time just sitting still for prolonged periods of time, which is why I'm so ready for pharmacy school to start. I'm honestly hoping it's just as hard as everyone says it is, so I can fill most of my day up with drugs and diseases. Fact is, I know that'll satisfy my insatiable need to stay busy. I've got it all planned out, too: workout in the morning--early in the morning--followed by class for most of the day, a quick nap after that, and then studying for about two to three hours. With a schedule like that I know I'll be content. And then by the time I get to Wende, I won't drive her crazy with my sometimes unrealistic needs--i.e. doing something wild and crazy like going streaking at 3 am (we've never done that--yet--but it's definitely not something totally out of character for me).

My whole point is just to say, I'm not sure what to do with myself. I have all this free time and, quick frankly, it's driving me insane. If there's anyone out there like me, hey, feel free to leave a comment. I'd love to hear how fellow action-junkies deal with their need to constantly be on the move.