The Therapist was Amazing!!

So yesterday I told you guys about me and Wende seeing a pre-marriage counselor. Well, today we went and it was absolutely amazing. This guy was good. In just an hour and a half, Wende and I learned so much about ourselves and how we communicate (which, quite frankly, is something all couples should learn about each other). But don't get me wrong here, there was never a doubt in my mind that Wende was the woman for me, but after visiting with Chuck, I'm beyond ready to marry this woman. Heck, I could marry her tomorrow!!

The session started off with us basically talking about some of our concerns. I gave him mine and Wende gave him hers. And immediately after hearing us out, Chuck identified some areas that inevitably lead to conflict, especially when couples haven't learned effective means of communicating. I learned that Wende and I are so very different. Well, then again, I always knew we were different; I just didn't know how different. For example, I'm much more of a quick, to the point, kind of a guy. Wende, on the other hand, is a little slower and often needs time to reflect and think. And would you believe, just this minor difference has caused a butt-load of unnecessary bickering. And it should be noted that usually this difference isn't that big of a deal. The problem comes in when there is a dispute. It's that small difference in communication style that often leads to bickering or nagging or arguing. I was absolutely blown away when Chuck pointed this out. It was like my eyes were opened for the first time and I was finally seeing the light. For the first time I was finally seeing where Wende was coming from. And, quite frankly, I was ready to learn more.

He went on to talk about ways to resolve our conflict without the usual finger pointing, belittling, or hitting below the belt (which rarely occurs, actually. A lot of what went on today was used for preemptive measures.)

This guy was so good, matter of fact, he was also able to pin-point a lot of things we didn't even mention--mostly just from hearing our stories. He would say things like, "Ju, I bet you do this when you're mad" or "Wende, I'm willing to bet that you have a tendency to do this when he does that." The guy was dead on.

And to top it all off, when our session was finally over, Chuck even reduced his rate and offered us a free session once we're married. So instead of paying $136.00 a session, we're only paying $75.00. Did I mention I really liked this guy? Wende and I ended up leaving his office like a brand-new couple. I think we're happier than we've ever been. Like I said earlier, she and I have always considered ourselves a good couple; however, I think this therapy session--and the five more that follow--are going to make us even better. We're both slowly but surely learning how to grow as unit. And I think as long as we remember we're striving to be a team and learn to work together, we're going to be amazing.

We're seeing a Therapist

So, Wende and I are seeing a pre-marriage counselor tomorrow. And I have to admit, at first, the idea seemed dumb; but the more I think about it, the more I feel like this is for the best. While Wende and I definitely have an amazing relationship, there are still a few kinks that need to be worked out before we say I do.

You see, our biggest problem stems from hurtful and misguided things that were said and done in past. And while, for the most part, we've tried our best to reconcile those issues, they have way of popping back up occasionally. And being as such, we decided pre-marriage counseling was our best bet, especially since we plan on getting married this July. The last thing we need is to bring unfinished, unresolved business into a new and happy marriage. Her parents are all for it. And, like I said earlier, I wasn't too gung-ho originally but now I think it's definitely the best option.

I've never met the guy we're going see but he is a Christian counselor, which is very important to both of us; and from what I can tell he seems pretty qualified. He and I spoke over the phone this morning and, quite frankly, I was very impressed with his candor and advise. He seemed to know what he was talking about, which, I guess, is to be expected. After all, the guy is an "expert". But, then again, these days you can't be too careful. Some of these idiots out there think they've got all the answers, and, unfortunately, don't know diddly-squat.

Our appointment is tomorrow afternoon at 2:30. And while I'm looking forward to our little meeting, I'm not looking forward to paying this guy. You'd think with him being a Christian counselor and all he wouldn't charge an arm and leg. One hour with this guy is a whopping $136.00. Yeah, you read that correctly. For one stinking hour!! I've decided we better handle every single issue we've ever had during this visit, because Lord knows I'm not trying to shell out that much cash on a regular basis. I'm still a student for goodness sakes. And, of course, I say this now but I can almost assure you I'll probably end up writing about how awesome our meeting went and how I can't wait to go back. I'm trying my best not to go into this thing with unrealistic expectations, but, at the same time, I'm really optimistic about the outcome.

Here goes nothing...